Mid Night Discourse


She doesn’t listen. She’s impudent that way, my muse. Coming and going as she pleases seemingly without a thought of the repercussions for me. So familiar. Is she me or I her? A question for the ages, the slowly aging from lack of sleep, and the up for hours mid-night. I awake wondering what she wants, mind ricocheting from one byte of memory to another. Is she intuitive? Does she foresee? Might she simply be attuned to the body she inhabits or am I experiencing the effects of Mercury in retrograde? I’m not completely sure what that even means but we are all part of the cosmic portrait, the energy of the universe. Atoms dancing in invisible valences with ghostly attractions and all. I’ve ruled out indigestion, heartburn and physical pain. There’s no bun in the oven doing somersaults. No caffeine aftermath. Perhaps she has something of value to say. She knows how I abhor vapid discourse. I’m often mistaken for antisocial for believing that what you (or I) have to say should be more beautiful than silence. I just wish she’d get on with it as I sit here rattling on like someone with multiple personalities.
Should I invest in the URL? Buy thispedestrianlife.com before it’s gone, like the black mock turtleneck midi dress that’s now out of stock after I delayed purchasing it online last night? Is it time to identify myself by name as writer/poet as opposed to author behind a clever blog name? What am I going to do my PGP ( work-personal growth plan) on this year? Should I start going to a Yoga class instead of practicing via video? I’m out of lavender essential oil and forgot to put it on our shopping list. I need razor blades and mascara as well. And I really should tackle the rust stains on the back of the house. Should I take the hummus for lunch tomorrow? It seems I always end up forgetting it the second day and letting it go to waste. Am I ever going to have a relationship with my sister? Do I want to sponsor a Make a Difference Club at school this year? Should I change the name? I need to get my Florida Gator purse out of the closet and start carrying it tomorrow. Football season is here and I so hope the Gators make a comeback. Why isn’t the Tylenol PM working? I wonder if that black dress will be back in stock sometime? I should sign up for an alert if that’s even available. Is that even available? Maybe I should read. Or work on one of the two books I’ve started writing. Is it too early for coffee? I can’t believe I’m still awake…

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5 Responses to Mid Night Discourse

  1. Reblogged this on This Pedestrian Life and commented:

    One year later. Some things never change. I could have written this last night.

    Peace and Love

  2. rebel1955 says:

    Carol, as always, you speak my language of up at 3 or 4 AM, wanting sleep and coffee, too tired to meditate, too wired to rest…so the words come, splatter on the page and the mind is a 100 mile an hour race car (with bad brakes.) You got it girl, keep on writing!

  3. Judy says:

    Love this blog as you are not alone with your rambling thoughts. I am called a Bee in a Jar as I keep buzzing around non stop.

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