In Case Fear Didn’t Hear Me The First Time


IMG_7229On December 26th, red, pink and white replaced all the red and green on store shelves as the monstrous retail machine launched a 50 day campaign to remind us all that it’s time to buy everyone we love a gift or two or twenty. 50 days!!! Really??? Ginormous stuffed bears monopolizing shelves worldwide began whispering bigger is better. Mail carriers who’ve just recently recuperated from the last commercialized red letter day will curse the creation of poster sized cards which fit in neither mailboxes or mail bins. From lollipops to precious jewels, it’s generally expected that February 14th is THE DAY to buy, buy, buy for and show our love. Miss that train and man you’re screwed. But what about the self love train? Have we been so hyper focused on making everyone else feel loved that we missed the all aboard call and are left in the station alone, empty and hollow hearted?

Insomnia brought me this spaghetti tangle of thoughts, along with a side salad of exponentially mounting anxiety. You see, I recently acted impulsively (an occupational hazard of spending your days with over a hundred 11-13 year olds). Contrary to my somewhat reclusive personality I committed to my first ever writers’ workshop. Screeeeeaaammm! I’ll have to share and read my words aloud, hear what strangers think of my craft, see the “likes” or God forbid “dislikes” in their eyes, on their faces. I won’t be able to hide in this cyber world or carefully sculpt my public persona like we all do online.

Adieu fear! Adieu! I acted in spite of you, just like I promised myself. Now I’m formally flaunting it in your hideous face that I have boarded the Self Love Train, giving myself a gift, an experience, acknowledging my own worth, affirming my own desires.

News flash world! Every day should be “The Day” for showing your love to others and also to yourself. Whisper sweetness in someone’s ear. Leave a love filled post-it note on the counter or hide it in a lunchbox or suitcase. Make someone’s favorite recipe and surprise them. Write “hello gorgeous” on your mirror and smile at yourself each time you pass it, every damn day! Take that long hot lavender bath. Don’t cancel those “you time” plans again. Your relationships deserve it. You deserve it. You need it. Your heart, mind, body and soul all require care. Neglect them at your own peril. I can tell you it won’t be pretty.
News flash big box retailers! Don’t saturate us for months with the next big red letter holiday. We’re still bleeding from the last one.

Peace and Love

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2 Responses to In Case Fear Didn’t Hear Me The First Time

  1. Dad says:

    Always liked spaghetti, especially tangled. Love you.

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