From my 30 Days of Writing- Write Yourself Alive course. It’s a combination of my response to the Day 19 Dealing with a Disease prompt and a love letter to the group.
This is really only my 8th writing day due to excuse after excuse. The latest one is erupting on my lower lip in the form of a hideous cold sore. Deep in my bones I know that words, feelings and thoughts present themselves in and on our bodies every single day, just like my disease. I’m trying to reclaim my strength, both physical and mental. I’m returning to meditation, walking the beach more and saying hello to the elliptical machine that mockingly stares at me each time I enter our garage. This group flat out rocks with an unbelievable amount of passion, talent and compassion. Reading everyone’s contributions and comments fills me with love and hope for our world. My heart is warmed and my soul soothed. Because of you, this disease WILL NOT claim me! I won’t be consumed by it or let it continue to cripple me. I will be bigger, better and stronger than it. My outlook and my action will radiate its poison into oblivion. I will rip the throat right out of it, leaving it voiceless. I will tear to shreds the tiny tendrils of worthlessness masquerading as colorful curly ribbons decorating an unopened box. I intend to stomp the hell out of that box and bid it good riddance. You will not own me anymore! Instead I’ll buy a shiny new bucket and bedazzle it all kinds of brilliant. I’ll fill it with all the love I see here, with all the kind words and encouragement I’ve gotten from this amazing group of strangers from faraway places, kindred spirits united in cyberspace. (I marvel at the miracle of that and hope that we can continue to support each other.) I’m going to reach into that sparkling bucket every day and pull out a dose of gusto, fill my favorite amethyst and gold pen with it and write this EFFIN disease of self doubt right into its grave!