Ranting me: “How in the world is it possible not to know that, to not see that information or give it ?! It’s included right there! How/Why does that happen?”
Trying to de-escalate my rant Hubs: “Well honey, they’re obviously so hyper-focused on the one aspect, with such a tight aperture, that they don’t realize it’s right there. They need to adjust their aperture.”
Slightly calmer me: “You mean like the can’t see the forest for the trees kind of thing? Like Where’s Waldo or those 3 d pictures I have difficulty with?”
Feeling successful Hubs: “Yes, but not just the bigger picture, the hidden picture or just the other parts of the picture as well. And there’s a blog inspiration, you’re welcome!”
Quickly grabbing a pen and asking Hubs to repeat what he said (2 maybe 3 times), I scratch it out on the frugal couple’s 2008 page-a-day calendar turned note paper and head to the world wide web to investigate aperture.
This is what I learned. In photography, adjustments to the aperture along with shutter speed determine how much light the film/image is exposed to and control how much /what parts of a photo are in focus, referred to as depth of field. The aperture is much like our human pupil. Light passes through both. When our pupils enlarge, as they do normally when we’re in darker conditions, more light is allowed to enter the eye, which of course should indicate a better view of whatever it is we’re looking at. Professional photogs factor shutter speed into the equation and create just the right blend of sharpness or fade, depending on the effect desired.
As a non- photog, I relate shutter speed to the amount of time our human eyes are clearly focused on something, wide open. Logic might argue that the more light that’s shed (aperture) and the longer we humans look at something the better we’ll understand the composition of it, but there are so many other possible non-camera like, non- mechanical variants that could affect what we actually perceive to be there. Variants at the same time both simple and complex, like mood, time of day, point of view, background knowledge, setting, present company, age, gender, and on and on.
If you’re still reading, thank you! You made it through my initial where is she going intro and the dry and technical aperture “cliff” notes. Notice the lower case “c” to indicate not the trademarked Cliff™ Notes we all used at one time or another in our high school or college careers (oh yes you did now, tell the truth) but the “I’m going out on a cliff here” kind of explanation that I hope is at least halfway correct. Like the autonomic mechanisms in our body that work without our conscious recognition, external variants we are not consciously aware of affect how we perceive things at any given point in time. Not only do we not realize that which we’re not focused on, but we each have our own filters and what we focus on is likely not what the next guy or gal is focused on. Their aperture, shutter speed, and a hundred other perception factors are different.
So what’s my point? I consider myself a lifelong student, learning as I go from this life I live, this path I walk. My point and today’s personal lesson is that I’m really too quick to proclaim myself an easy come-easy go, non-judgemental person. Most people I come into contact with (not my neurologist, cardiologist or GI doc, LOL) likely associate my name with words like Namaste, Zen, calm and peaceful. My kids will recall me incessantly repeating a “different strokes for different folks” life mantra. Ask the Hubs though, and he’ll tell you I’m a complicated, dichotomous, beautiful and hot (thank you Hubs) mess that can get really riled up about more than a few things in a hurry. Before I’ve taken the time to remember that everyone, all of us, have a unique aperture and shutter speed.
Note to self: Maybe in this case, that case or all cases I need to be reminded to adjust my own aperture and shutter settings or consider someone else’s. Maybe we all need to remember that each of us has a unique set of filters and until we open ourselves up to others and try to understand life through their apertures and shutters, we cannot see what they see or feel what they feel and shouldn’t be so quick to take a battle ready, judgmental stance.
Peace and Love