I’ll Love You For Always

Fitful, tortured screaming emanated from the hallways.  Not enough rooms to be had on a suffocating summer day.  Drenched, and yet dry mouthed, feeling pummeled by each torrential wave, the daunted 23-year-old girl wailed, “I can’t, I just can’t! ”  She literally and truly didn’t think she could go on!  Nonsensical, as if she imagined there was a way out or a way to back up and not finish this.   After 23 hours, her strength was reneging and her confidence waning.  Supportive hand squeezing or sympathetic brow wiping did little to alter the girl’s frantic state of mind. 

The ebony creases besetting her smile were soft and spoke of a journey well lived.  She appeared with gumption to take over, to direct, and command the situation.  “My name’s Mamie darlin and this is what I’m gonna help you do girl.  You’re gonna get that baby out of you and then you’re gonna love that baby forever, yes, you are.  Now when I say push, you’re gonna push, and when I say stop, you’re gonna stop, you understand?”  A long-time-coming smile graced the frazzled girl’s face.  “Yes maam!” And a little bit further than just like that,  less than an hour and one broken tailbone later, lives were altered forevermore. 

At 5:52 pm , on this day 29 years ago, a girl became a mother.  That girl was me and the whopping 9 pound 12 ounce boy was my firstborn, my beautiful baby boy.  With a gargantuan head, slightly squished from the jaws of life used to remove him, and eyes of aquamarine, shining brightly, he changed all that was and all that ever will be.  A new love alighted and brought not one, but three new lives, as two parents were born on that day too. 

Today I celebrate my son, whom,  just like Mamie told me, I will love forever, and who has brought me an extraordinary type of joy.  Today he is a father, and because of that, he can now understand the kind of forever and always love I have for him.  A favorite book, one that I’ve never been able to read without crying, says it all:

“I’ll love you forever / I’ll love you for always / As long as I’m living / My baby you’ll be.”

*from “Love You Forever” by Robert Munsch

Happy Birthday my son!  Thank you for every single moment that you’ve given me, even the less than spectacular ones, because they’ve all led to this day, a day like every other since your arrival, a day when I love you more than yesterday.  I am so proud of the man you are today!

“I’ll love you forever / I’ll love you for always / As long as I’m living / My baby you’ll be.”

This entry was posted in birthdays, childbirth, familial bonds, joy, life, love and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to I’ll Love You For Always

  1. Lori Siegel says:

    I found that book while traveling on a business trip over 15 years ago – my daughter Lindsey must have been about 3 years old. I read it in the airport ‘bookstore’ and cried. The first time I read this book to hear I almost couldn’t even speak the words, my throat started to close up and big tears welled in my eyes.

    To this day that book, those words, ‘get me every time’! Thank you for bringing back a wonderful memory, and as my son turns 15 years old next month and my daughter Lindsey approaches her 21st year I will remember once again those lovely and heart felt words: “I’ll love you forever / I’ll love you for always / As long as I’m living / My baby you’ll be.”

  2. D- says:

    Parenthood. . .cool !

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